Secret diners eating full English fry-ups at cafes all over Doncaster - and then marking them out of 10 on Facebook

The Breakfast Club is reviewing fry-ups all over Doncaster. (Photo: The Breakfast Club - Doncaster).
The Breakfast Club is reviewing fry-ups all over Doncaster. (Photo: The Breakfast Club - Doncaster).

Secret diners are scoffing down full English fry-ups at cafes all over Doncaster - and then giving them hilarious reviews and marks out of 10 on Facebook.

The mystery food critics are tucking into bacon and eggs at "greasy spoons" all over the town - and have picked up a devoted following on Facebook with their sometimes scathing reviews of Doncaster's full English breakfasts and admitting they are not worried about how a bad write-up will impact on business.

The Breakfast Club Facebook page has won legions of fans for its hilarious reviews.

The Breakfast Club Facebook page has won legions of fans for its hilarious reviews.

One cafe was dubbed: "A joyless, soul destroying and frankly disgusting experience."

The Breakfast Club Doncaster describes itself as the town's "go-to comprehensive reviewer of Full English Breakfasts," and adds: "We travel to greasy-spoons across the borough trying out Donny's best and worst fry-ups , taking photos and writing reviews so you, the fine people can choose your breakfasts wisely.

The page adds: "All opinions are that of our own, we are not professional food critics; more experienced fans of a classic full english. We do not operate on any commercial level in partnership with any cafes or dining establishments and as so give no f***s on how our reviews impact on your business.

"We review the breakfasts as we receive them - if they look like s***, that's your fault!"

The cafes have been ranked in order in a league table with the mystery eaters tucking into platefuls at everywhere from supermarket cafes to village eateries.

Each review lists details of the cafe, the cost of a full English breakfast - and what customers get for their money as well as an overall mark out of ten.

There are even comments on the selection of ketchup and brown sauce offered as well as details of opening times.

Reviews are accompanied by photos of the breakfasts - and although some of the area's eateries have come out with glowing reviews, others have fared less well.

A review of a breakfast at the Asda supermarket cafe witheringly described it as "like a visit to Chernobyl" and added: "The bacon was so undercooked it was squealing as I cut into it.

"The beans and single plum tomato were walking the line between actually cold and luke-warm.

A cup of tea was described as: "The pale, watery abyss with a soggy bag submerged, bleak and unappealing. If i were brand ambassador from Tetley's, I'd be wanting to distance myself so far from being associated from this as possible."

And the review concluded: "An otherwise joyless, soul destroying and frankly disgusting experience."

The Facebook group has already chalked up more than 1,000 fans with one writing: "I love this page quality reviews and very witty and funny. Love the Asda review classic."

Another added: "Hasn't got a clue what a proper sausage is, and has a bizarre and unhealthy obsession with hash browns, and s*** food in general, but the lad can write entertainingly."

You can visit The Breakfast Club - Doncaster Facebook page HERE