Domestic goddess? just hide the mess

A woman spring cleaning. Picture: PA Photo/
A woman spring cleaning. Picture: PA Photo/

They say an Englishman’s home is his (or her) castle, but keeping up appearances can become a bore.

In an ideal world I would dedicate time every single day to whizzing my feather duster around embodying cleaning gurus Kim and Aggie.

But in reality after a hard days work the last thing I feel like doing is polishing my silverware.

I often feel guilty about my lack of enthusiasm when it comes to domestic duties.

Don’t get me wrong I do tidy and clean, I just can’t muster the enthusiasm to get excited about state of the art mops and new cleaning products. But rather than thinking of myself as a failed domestic goddess I like to think it’s because I have better things to do with my time.

But it has to be said my reluctance to tidy leaves me in a pickle when unexpected guests turn up, and it seems I’m not alone.

Apparently women need on average 28 minutes notice in order to tidy up and prepare for unexpected guests, according to new research.

This blitz of activity, dubbed “the 30 minute make-over”, often sees panicked hosts rapidly disposing of mess and hiding clutter to create a superficial impression of cleanliness and hygiene.

I can completely relate to this.

When all else fails I go into shove everything in a random cupboard mode.

This is great for a quick fix solution, but when you’re still finding piles of magazines and unopened bank statements in the ever expanding “bits and bobs” drawer weeks later it can be counter productive.

I’ve even been known to shove random things in the tumble dryer or washing machine to get them out of the way - a potential health and safety nightmare waiting to happen.

The poll of 2,000 women by Swinton found that nearly half of those questioned were girls after my own heart and had a special drawer or cupboard which was regularly used for emergency storage of junk before visitors arrived.

A further 57 per cent said that even when they were given notice of an impending visit they would only tidy downstairs and try to put off guests venturing upstairs.

I have tried this method myself but the problem arises when you’re guests need to visit the upstairs toilet - it seems harsh to refuse after all.

It’s silly when you think about it, I’m sure my friends wouldn’t judge me just because a cushion was out of place.

Maybe I should just stop stressing before the bits and bobs drawer implodes.