I’ve often sniggered at those cheesy Slimfast adverts featuring stick insects who proudly claim “I have a shake for breakfast, one for lunch and a sensible dinner”.
For a food lover like myself the thought of substituting a meal with some tasteless skimmed milk shake sounds like a nightmare.
I already know the secret to weight loss, eat less and exercise more - a simple formula that I have spent years failing to master.
But with an expired gym membership and my Vegas holiday looming, it was time to take drastic action.
A friend of mine had raved about a detox diet she had tried and managed to lose nine pounds in nine days.
When she told me about the Clean Nine diet I remember thinking how torturous it sounded.
No tea, no coffee, no booze , no food (for the first two days) and plenty of shots of aloe vera.
My face cream contains aloe vera, why the hell would I want to drink it? Nevertheless she stuck to it and reaped the results.
After sleepless nights imagining myself fighting with the larger than life Americans to get to the front of the all you can eat buffet, I decided to give it a whirl.
For the first two days it was a combination of bee pollen tablets, garcinia tablets, meal replacement shakes and shots of aloe vera - strange I know.
For someone like me who can quite happily glug down four cups of coffee a day the lack of caffeine was tough.
In fact I spent the first few days with a banging headache and going to bed early to avoid raiding the kitchen cupboards.
But the worst part was the aloe vera - I’ve drank some shots in my time but this has got to be the worst.
But eager to stick to the plan I soldiered on and made it to day three and the introduction of food - up to 600 calories to be precise.
From day three to nine I was as happy as a overly excited Slimfast chick eating my sensible dinner each night and the aloe was even becoming more palatable.
Once I got into the swing of it I actually had loads of energy and had got into a good routine of eating lots of fresh vegetables to make the most of my 600 calories- I bet even Gwyeneth Paltrow doesn’t eat as many vegetables a day as I was chowing down on.
After 10 days (I did a day extra) I have lost 11lbs and 14 inches.
Don’t get me wrong I’m sure I’ll be indulging in a burger or two in Vegas but I genuinely feel like it’s helped me realise how easy it is to eat healthily.
Now someone please stick the kettle on, I could murder a brew.