Uber-suspicious about this one

How far will you go for a tan? The Costas? The Caribbean?

The sunbed parlour for a dice with skin cancer, or the latest route – which takes you via a potential heart attack?

People are now sniffing an illegal, unlicensed product packed with God knows what straight up their nostrils in the hope it will turn them brown. Ubertan, at a whopping £50, promises to activate the skin’s natural tanning ability without the sun.

But the product has never been tested; and no-one yet knows what it actually contains.

The packaging and company website (which now seems to be unavailable) states only that the contents are plant extract-based (er, aren’t many lethal forms of poison?).

But investigations show users risk low blood pressure and a higher heart rate – which in extremes could cause heart failure and permanent brain damage.

To me, the clue would have been in the potential side-effects the makers ARE keen to share with customers – a suppressed appetite and an increased libido.

A triple whammy, clearly designed to appeal to the very stupid and very vain.

I can get brown, thinner and sexier? Gimme gimme.