YOU have to admit it is one of the worst things you’ve ever heard on television.
Michelle Collins’ attempt at a Manchester accent on Coronation Street has attracted an awful lot of attention, largely because it is indeed awful.
It is so cringe-worthy my body coils up even before she starts to speak.
It is so painful to watch that. I’m on edge for the entire episode, just in case she comes back on the screen.
It genuinely is starting to put me off watching Coronation Street at all.
That said, I do have a lot of sympathy for Collins who is facing this storm of disgust.
The fact is, she’s a pretty good actress beyond the accent.
The accent just gets in the way because she actually delivers her lines quite well.
Alison King who plays Carla Connor almost gurns as she tries to produce a Manchester accent, something which Collins avoids.
If her voice didn’t sound like that then there would be no problem with her role and people would be lauding her as a superb replacement for the brilliant Bev Callard as Liz McDonald.
She’s a fine actress and it is clear it was more than just friendship with producer Phil Collinson that landed her the role.
The most baffling thing about all this is why she needs to be from Manchester in the first place.
Yes, she is Leanne Battersby’s mum, but accents aren’t genetically inherited so there really was no need.
The producers seem to think deploying an accent other than Manc on Coronation Street automatically says something about the character.
Cockney has been used for wideboys such as Bradley Walsh’s Danny Baldwin.
And when someone from Yorkshire dared cross the Pennines, Tommy Harris ended up being an overly aggressive nutter.
So, therefore, she had to be a Manc because apparently we would have pre-conceived ideas about the character.
Like the fact she used to be Cindy Beale on EastEnders and she has probably never stopped rueing the day the writers decided she had in fact died in prison.
Actually the most baffling thing is that she slept with Les Battersby at any point during her life.
Really? Michelle Collins and Bruce Jones in a tryst?
Even a hint of that must make Collins wish she’d never walked away from Albert Square.
Though Ian Beale isn't much of an improvement.
* It turns out that Cheryl Cole has been wasting her real talent with all the music and X Factor shenanegans.
In her latest advert for L’Oreal hair dye she demonstates she is in fact one of the greatest comic actresses of her generation.
And like all good comedians, she shows she is game for a bit of self-deprecation in this advert for Casting Creme Gloss.
Though it wasn’t really her fault, you’d think she might have scurried away with her tail tucked between her legs following the US X Factor farce.
But no, our Cheryl is willing to address it head on.
In total deadpan she delivers a tagline that will undoubtedly go down in the annals of comedic genius.
“It’s all about the right casting!”
At least I think it’s supposed to be funny.