Six top tips for getting through a relationship breakdown

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They say that everyone is happier when the sun is out but sadly for some it isn’t always as simple as that.

It’s an especially difficult time for those going through a relationship break-up which can often leave people feeling isolated and disheartened.

In particular, parents throughout Yorkshire who are experiencing relationship difficulties may have attempted to preserve the illusion that they were happy, perhaps over a summer holiday or a trip away, with a view to giving their little ones a stable family environment. However, every day couples are facing the sad reality that their relationship is coming to an end.

At Blacks Solicitors we understand how difficult relationship breakdowns can be. Anna Rhodes from the Family Law team has devised some top tips to help you and your children through this difficult time.

For the kids:

1. Be open with the children (in an age appropriate manner)

Telling your children about the break-up of your relationship is not an easy thing to do. Children may react differently to the news depending on their age. You should decide with your ex when you are going to tell the children and try to do it together, where possible, as the children will feel reassured if they see a united front. Speak with the children on a frequent basis and give them the opportunity to ask any questions. Remind them that they will be told about all important decisions but ultimately they can’t change the choice you have made. Tell them that they need to be brave and stay strong and reassure them that both parents will still be there for them.

2. Minimise the disruption to the children’s daily routines

Try to keep the children’s daily routines as normal as possible as this will help them to adjust to the other big change in their lives. If one parent is moving out of the family home then come up with new arrangements for how and when the children will spend time with both of you and stick to the new routine as this will provide them with certainty and stability at a very uncertain point in their lives.

3. Protect the children from conflict and legal talk

Avoid having arguments and legal discussions in front of the children, as this can leave them feeling upset, worried and confused. The children should be sheltered from conflict as this can cause emotional harm and difficulties forming relationships themselves later on in life. Even if your partner has really let you down in your relationship, the best thing you can do for your children is to keep adult issues just that. If you are unable to agree on child arrangements with your ex then you can try mediation or seek guidance from a solicitor.

For you:

4. It’s okay to feel how you do

This is perhaps the most important. Break-ups can leave you feeling sad, depressed, angry, confused, scared and alone. But it is important to acknowledge these feelings and not keep them bottled up. Do not be afraid to seek external assistance for emotional support at this very difficult time, such as a life coach or counselling. This can be very beneficial if you are struggling to come to terms with the divorce or separation.

5. Share with your friends and family

Splitting from your partner isn’t just about losing a romantic interest; you may also be losing your best friend. This can leave you feeling more alone than ever and the natural instinct is to be just that. But you need to remember that you have other friends and family, who will always be there to support you through these difficult times. It is important to confide in them about how you are feeling as they will want to support you.

6. Stay active

It is vitally important to your physical and mental wellbeing that you keep yourself active after a break-up. Get out of the house, even if it is to just go for a walk, keep yourself busy at work and try a new activity you might not have considered doing before. Being active will provide a welcome distraction and will help you to focus your mind on other things. This may provide a sense of clarity which in turn will help you overcome the lows you have been feeling. One thing is for sure; you will not feel like this forever. You will have a different outlook on your life even just one year from now.

If you find yourself faced with a complicated situation and need some help or advice, the team at Blacks Solicitors are happy to talk you through your options. Give them a call today on 0113 207 0000 or contact them online with a call back promise within 4 hours at Blacks Solicitors.