Rogers Rants - The enigmatic automatic

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Why is it that when you have done your weekly wash you can only find rubbish pairs of socks?

When my clothes horse is emptied, all the decent pairs have either been reduced to singles or have disappeared altogether. And the only pairs which remain intact are the same threadbare black cheapo sports socks with holes in.

They turn up every week like uninvited guests at a party.

I can’t even remember buying them.

I have purchased at least six pairs of expensive commando socks to wear with my walking boots in the past three months, yet only three pairs remain. They were bought in two colours so I suspect they are all odd ones from the original pairing. But of course, I can’t prove that.

My Marks and Sparks ankle socks look like matched pairs when drying out, but on closer inspection there are subtle differences in shade and size indicating their new found orphan status.

The only place my socks go when they have been worn is into the laundry basket.

The ritual of emptying the laundry basket into the washing machine once or twice a week should be relatively foolproof.

So how do I now have a binliner stuffed to the gills with oddments.

It’s not just me – apparently researchers say the average family loses £240 of socks every year in the wash.

It’s an old chestnut and I have a proposal to shell it.

I am going to get my next new pairs microchipped.

Tagging the blighters might shed some light as to what happens to them, as they cross the event horizon of my Zanussi front-loader.