Back in the late ’70s, when art college beckoned and I imagined I was quirky and avant-garde in my dress and make-up, I hadn’t realised I was at the beginning of a love-hate relationship with fashion that has lasted decades.
But then again anyone who thinks that heavy eye make-up, long wavy hair and tight black cords make them look like a winning combination of Kate Bush and Chrissie Hynde as I did, is going to have real issues with style.
A museum could make an archive of the weird and wonderful garments I have chosen over the years that have embraced everything from rock chick to Robin Hood – I still wince when I remember the leggings.
Oscar Wilde said: “You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
Well, he obviously didn’t see me in my velvet and taffeta Christmas dress circa 1988.
The exploding cushion effect in party wear was never going to catch on.
Looking back over the last thousand years there’s been an awful lot of dodgy fashion.
From pointy hats to impossibly tiny waisted corsets, from wigs adorned with model ships to shoes so high broken ankles were a potential threat, we’ve seen it all.
I still can’t look at a platform-heeled shoe or boot without remembering the inelegant ‘clompety clomp’ sound they made and how difficult it was to walk naturally.
So now when going shopping I take my daughter or a friend for guidance and support.
All it takes is a subtly raised eyebrow and I back away from the item I’ve seen that is actually the wrong style, colour and material – and doesn’t remotely co-ordinate with anything at all in my wardrobe.
It’s my daughter Lizzie who will be my fashion guru next week at the Fashion Show Event in aid of the St John’s Hospice Development Appeal.
On Wednesday, May 28, at The Glasshouse Function Room, Kirk Sandall, Doncaster, there’s the opportunity to enjoy an evening of fashion.
Clothes from well-known high street brands at bargain prices will be the highlight of the night, and there will be some terrific raffle prizes to be won.
Tickets are £5 ahead of the event or £6 on the door.
In the meantime I can’t make up my mind whether this is the night to give my silk waistcoat – very Mozart - from the ’80s an outing.
Or maybe it’s the right occasion for the 1940s-style dress and the tennis shoes?
For details of events supporting St John’s Hospice please contact Mel Hewitt on 01302 798391.
* Mel Hewitt, Community Fundraiser